The irony of self made success
Musings on success, factors leading up to it and nauseating myth of self-made individuals.
Over the course of my career, I’ve seen numerous successful careers and I’ve always found it odd to hear that person x’s career growth was self made or that they were able to achieve everything through grit, talent and everything else in the middle that’s glorified by the corporate world.
There’s a particular Toby Morris Comic aptly named “On a Plate” that explains how mired in our own success, we don’t realise how we might have had it easier or might have been luckier or might have be supported by people in our careers. I read the comic in 2015/6 and it’s stayed with me since and has now formed a core value of mine which is It takes a village for someone to be successful.
Does that mean you don’t play a role in your own career? Of course not, a large % of your success is down to you - whether it’s talent, your work ethic or your greatness; without putting in the desired effort you’ll not get to be successful. But what about the other factors? What are they and can you do something about them.
I’ll talk a little about me and my career to help you understand a bit better. I’m the youngest of 3 siblings and I grew up in Pakistan. My parents don’t exactly stem from rich or privileged families, while my mum’s job was 24/7 (running the house, making sure we had food and were safe and all that jazz) my father started off as a Civil engineer at NESPAK (which is the largest Pakistani engineering management organisation) and had a 30+ year career there eventually retiring from the organisation as Vice President. Given that they had seen their socio-economic conditions change courtesy education, my parents ensured that we got the best education. Education would be first step on the ladder titled as career. Through no effort or choice of my own, I’m already at an advantage now because my parental unit believed in the might of the pen.
In classic Pakistani manner - my sister and brother became Doctor and Engineer respectively, which are professions they were also passionate about. When it came to me choosing a university; I picked a less orthodox route (according to my parents), I chose LUMS (which is a premier business school in Pakistan) to do Economics. A lot of what I learnt and how I come across as a professional is down to that university, but my parents backing up my career choices wouldn’t have been easy if my siblings didn’t step in and explain how the university was great and how my career would benefit. Sure I wanted to go to LUMS as well but not sure who convinced my parents more; so I climb another step in the ladder called career but I had the helping hands of my siblings holding and guiding me up.
After 4 years I graduate and I get a job offer in Dubai (which spoiler alert I took) but when I went to LUMs which was in another city (Lahore) from my home town (Islamabad), I had told my parental unit in 4 years I’d be back and now here I was not only going against my word but moving further away - leaving the country. While in this case all of my family understood, but my siblings again stepped in to ease any grievances. Helped forward on the ladder by my siblings yet again.
Then I start my professional career and I wish I could say the reason I have the career I do today is because I’m talented, smart and hardworking; but in reality it’s a combination of people willing to take chances on me, guiding me, letting me make mistakes, listening to my rants and coaching me, reasoning with me, offering me advice that I didn’t like but needed, even in a case firing me or lastly just being a safety net for me while I tried wild things with my career.
Coming from a Pakistani household, the fact that I get to live outside the country while my mum ages is also a unique privilege. One I can afford because my elder brother decided to stay back and take care of family.
So why did I tell you all these things? Partly well I guess you know me a little bit more, the other part would be to encourage you to build your own village. No one who ever “made” it did it by themselves and they all had their fair share of helping hands - so find your people? Who are they - they can be in the shape of managers, senior leaders as mentors at work, your partner willing to entertain your wild ideas, your friends, ex-colleagues. Everyone needs a helping hand and the journey is easier with company. If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together
The flip side of this coin is if you have made it, maybe take a second pause and reflect on who do you owe a thank you to or even a form of recognition to. Make sure you know who those people are, and that they also know they played a role in making you who you are today. Lastly, see how you can be part of someone else’s village, take all the help you got for people and then pay it forward to carry on building villages and mutual success.